diriDearyto say/speak

I have a great-grandmother who's nearly deaf and has to use an ear horn. If you're not familiar with ear horns, think of a megaphone that works in the opposite direction. My great-grandmother happens to have a rather old-fashioned, giant brass ear horn. It's quite a sight to behold.

Now, my great-grandmother is a very sweet person, and she calls everyone "Deary". Unfortunately, it's a bit frustrating to carry on a conversation with her:

"Hello, great-grandmother."

"What's that you say, Deary?" she responds, placing her ear horn in her ear.

"I said, Hello, great-grandmother."

"Oh, deary me. You'll have to speak up, Deary. I can't hear what you're saying."

"I said, HELLO, GREAT-GRANDMOTHER!"

"Oh, deary, deary me. I can't understand what you're saying, Deary."

It wasn't until I was much older that you finally realized that my great-grandmother doesn't call everyone Deary after all. You see, she's senile as well as deaf. And she has named her ear horn "Deary".

All those times she encouraged me to speak up, she wasn't actually speaking to me, she was speaking to her "Deary"!

Oh deary me!

jekor
2009-05-05